United: We can't guarantee friendly skies.
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Airline Slogan Jokes
Started by
Independence76
, Aug 21 2008 02:56 AM
132 replies to this topic
#61
Independence76
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Posted 30 August 2008 - 05:44 PM
#62
reyven
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Posted 30 August 2008 - 06:28 PM
Eastern Airlines: At Eastern, We BURN are wings everyday!
#63
Independence76
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Posted 30 August 2008 - 06:41 PM
Continental: Within a few years, we'll be with oneworld.
Aeroflot: NO GEORGIA FOR YOU!
Aeroflot: NO GEORGIA FOR YOU!
#64
Buziel-411_RED
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Posted 30 August 2008 - 10:13 PM
"Southwest: Fly us, we have peanuts."
"Southwest: Laughing at your demise."
"American(
): We'll get you there, someday...."
"American: America's largest airline, now all we have to do is look good while doing it."
"American: Proud to be the world's largest operator of the gas guzzling, dirty, outdated, MD-80."
"Air Caribe: Your hit and run airline."
"Air Caribe: You should duck when we're around."
"Southwest: Laughing at your demise."
"American(
): We'll get you there, someday....""American: America's largest airline, now all we have to do is look good while doing it."
"American: Proud to be the world's largest operator of the gas guzzling, dirty, outdated, MD-80."
"Air Caribe: Your hit and run airline."
"Air Caribe: You should duck when we're around."
#65
cactidust
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Posted 31 August 2008 - 05:59 PM
Air Kevin: We have 744's!
#66
Spartan
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Posted 31 August 2008 - 06:56 PM
British Airways - You'll end up in America, and your bags will end up in the Bahamas!
British Airways - We've lost you're bags. (Needs to be sung to their theme tune - or if you've seen it on Mock the week, you'll understand)
British Airways - We've lost you're bags. (Needs to be sung to their theme tune - or if you've seen it on Mock the week, you'll understand)
#67
SmartPartsFrEaK
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Posted 01 September 2008 - 02:46 AM
American Eagle- "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane."
Virgin Atlantic- "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
Virgin Atlantic- "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
#68
Danny-B
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Posted 31 December 2008 - 05:25 PM
Ryanair: You are almost gauranteed a ride on a slide
British Airways: T5 is working!!!
British Airways: T5 is working!!!
#69
Battle_Penguin
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Posted 31 December 2008 - 05:35 PM
China Airlines-"Wir da swubway in da skwy!"
Southwest-"We service to Rhode island"
Japan Airlines-"Rowned eie's nout arlowed"
Northwest-"We'll fly to mexico if you want"
Aeromexico-"We'll fly you there in the shiny caddy in the sky"
Austrailian Airlines-"We have the best service to 2 of the 18 airports we fly"
Southwest-"We service to Rhode island"
Japan Airlines-"Rowned eie's nout arlowed"
Northwest-"We'll fly to mexico if you want"
Aeromexico-"We'll fly you there in the shiny caddy in the sky"
Austrailian Airlines-"We have the best service to 2 of the 18 airports we fly"
#70
Independence76
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Posted 31 December 2008 - 06:21 PM
Canadian Airlines: Money is the least of our worries!
Air France: Thunderstorms? The French are the best at landing in thunderstorms.
Northwest: Out with a bang and your wallet.
Delta: We'll put our colors on a few trash cans, but they are still trash cans.
British Airways: Landing early this holiday season!
Skybus: Because we couldn't come up with a better name!
US Airways (to the European market): We're glad you don't speak English.
Air Canada: Can't beat 'em? Buy 'em!
Air France: Thunderstorms? The French are the best at landing in thunderstorms.
Northwest: Out with a bang and your wallet.
Delta: We'll put our colors on a few trash cans, but they are still trash cans.
British Airways: Landing early this holiday season!
Skybus: Because we couldn't come up with a better name!
US Airways (to the European market): We're glad you don't speak English.
Air Canada: Can't beat 'em? Buy 'em!
#71
smonkcaptain
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Posted 31 December 2008 - 08:21 PM
Easyjet: The web's worst airline.
#72
Prancer
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Posted 31 December 2008 - 10:58 PM
KLM: We have a point system like no other.
25 points for wonking a beach goer in the head with the main gear
30 points for landing short of the runway and rolling over beach goer
50 points for a direct landing on a beach goer. +5 if bounce and make it over the fence. -10 for destroying fence without pushing beach goer into it first. +5 if you take a car with you.
500 bonus points if you manage to make it look like a freak accident.
25 points for wonking a beach goer in the head with the main gear
30 points for landing short of the runway and rolling over beach goer
50 points for a direct landing on a beach goer. +5 if bounce and make it over the fence. -10 for destroying fence without pushing beach goer into it first. +5 if you take a car with you.
500 bonus points if you manage to make it look like a freak accident.
#73
Battle_Penguin
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Posted 31 December 2008 - 11:01 PM
^^
#74
Independence76
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Posted 04 January 2009 - 03:02 AM
Air France: The Loveliest Flight Attendants On Earth! 
US Airways: Lost Luggage? Sucks for you....
US Airways: Lost Luggage? Sucks for you....
#75
THBatMan8
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Posted 04 January 2009 - 03:29 AM
FEDEX - You ship it, we break it.
Edited by THBatMan8, 04 January 2009 - 03:29 AM.
#76
_haphadon_
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Posted 04 January 2009 - 11:22 AM
Perriwen, on Dec 31 2008, 10:58 PM, said:
KLM: We have a point system like no other.
25 points for wonking a beach goer in the head with the main gear
30 points for landing short of the runway and rolling over beach goer
50 points for a direct landing on a beach goer. +5 if bounce and make it over the fence. -10 for destroying fence without pushing beach goer into it first. +5 if you take a car with you.
500 bonus points if you manage to make it look like a freak accident.
25 points for wonking a beach goer in the head with the main gear
30 points for landing short of the runway and rolling over beach goer
50 points for a direct landing on a beach goer. +5 if bounce and make it over the fence. -10 for destroying fence without pushing beach goer into it first. +5 if you take a car with you.
500 bonus points if you manage to make it look like a freak accident.
#77
Ice Man
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Posted 04 January 2009 - 02:40 PM
US Airways=We../(To hear the US Airways slogan, please pay the standard slogan fee of $3.00)
US Airways=You suck.
Qantas=Rain Man thinks we're the best!
El Al=Sir I'm going to ask you some questions
Southwest=You are free to move about the country, as long as you stop in Phoenix, Vegas, and Albuquerque first (Jay Leno)
Southwest=You know you love our nuts
Southwest=We don't have hubs. It just happens that most of our direct point-to-point flights go through the same 4 places (LAS, PHX, MDW, BWI).
United=Oh yeah? Well our headphones are still free AND you can hear our pilots talk! So there!
United=Now doing business as "United Express," operated by 1 of 5 independant carriers.
United=What's a domestic flight?
Midwest=This flight is operated by Republic Airways.
American=If we can't buy you, we'll sue you!
American=You have 30 minutes to get to your gate 2 terminals away. Go!
Continental=Pay $500 more than the competition, and we give you a free lunch!
Hawaiian=Screw Boeing. Just because we said so.
Mesa=Predatory pricing? Market dumping? What's that?
Alaska=Despite our name, we're actually the leading airline to MEXICO.
Alaska=Cabo or bust!
Northwest=Sure is cold up here. Let's go to Japan!
JetBlue=Good thing we have the best legroom, you're going to be here awhile.
JetBlue=Our pilots just look like bus drivers. Real bus drivers actually let people OFF the bus.
JetBlue=Hey! The TSA stole our pilots' uniforms!
Virgin America=Considering our name, our interior is ironic.
Virgin America=Depending on the temperature, our pilots look like bartenders or Harley riders.
Air India=Yeah our service sucks, but you're the one who wanted to go to Germany for cheap.
Icelandair=Who needs to fly nonstop to Europe? Stop and freeze awhile.
Ryanair=If you think our prices are low, check out our service!
Cathay Pacific=You could use that money to buy a car. Or you could fly first class. The choice is yours.
Singapore=We stay up longer than everyone else!
Singapore=Someday, we won't have to land at all
Virgin Atlantic (A340-600)=Ours is longer.
South African=We're the/.......(the rest of this slogan has just been stolen)
Iran Air=JIHAD! JIHAD!
Korean Air=What can sky blue do for you?
Aerolineas Argentinas=Proud to be the only surviving legacy carrier of this whole continent.
SAS=We're too good for just one country.
Air China=Dissenters will be executed
Jet Airways=Because the trains are getting a little crowded.
Malaysian=We sell you Rolex for $5!
Aeromexico=According to our radio calls, our name is just 1 syllable!
Air India=Don't complain to us, you're the one who wanted cheap tickets to Germany. (LAX service)
US Airways=You suck.
Qantas=Rain Man thinks we're the best!
El Al=Sir I'm going to ask you some questions
Southwest=You are free to move about the country, as long as you stop in Phoenix, Vegas, and Albuquerque first (Jay Leno)
Southwest=You know you love our nuts
Southwest=We don't have hubs. It just happens that most of our direct point-to-point flights go through the same 4 places (LAS, PHX, MDW, BWI).
United=Oh yeah? Well our headphones are still free AND you can hear our pilots talk! So there!
United=Now doing business as "United Express," operated by 1 of 5 independant carriers.
United=What's a domestic flight?
Midwest=This flight is operated by Republic Airways.
American=If we can't buy you, we'll sue you!
American=You have 30 minutes to get to your gate 2 terminals away. Go!
Continental=Pay $500 more than the competition, and we give you a free lunch!
Hawaiian=Screw Boeing. Just because we said so.
Mesa=Predatory pricing? Market dumping? What's that?
Alaska=Despite our name, we're actually the leading airline to MEXICO.
Alaska=Cabo or bust!
Northwest=Sure is cold up here. Let's go to Japan!
JetBlue=Good thing we have the best legroom, you're going to be here awhile.
JetBlue=Our pilots just look like bus drivers. Real bus drivers actually let people OFF the bus.
JetBlue=Hey! The TSA stole our pilots' uniforms!
Virgin America=Considering our name, our interior is ironic.
Virgin America=Depending on the temperature, our pilots look like bartenders or Harley riders.
Air India=Yeah our service sucks, but you're the one who wanted to go to Germany for cheap.
Icelandair=Who needs to fly nonstop to Europe? Stop and freeze awhile.
Ryanair=If you think our prices are low, check out our service!
Cathay Pacific=You could use that money to buy a car. Or you could fly first class. The choice is yours.
Singapore=We stay up longer than everyone else!
Singapore=Someday, we won't have to land at all
Virgin Atlantic (A340-600)=Ours is longer.
South African=We're the/.......(the rest of this slogan has just been stolen)
Iran Air=JIHAD! JIHAD!
Korean Air=What can sky blue do for you?
Aerolineas Argentinas=Proud to be the only surviving legacy carrier of this whole continent.
SAS=We're too good for just one country.
Air China=Dissenters will be executed
Jet Airways=Because the trains are getting a little crowded.
Malaysian=We sell you Rolex for $5!
Aeromexico=According to our radio calls, our name is just 1 syllable!
Air India=Don't complain to us, you're the one who wanted cheap tickets to Germany. (LAX service)
#78
likebernie4
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Posted 04 January 2009 - 02:52 PM
Ice Man, on Jan 4 2009, 02:40 PM, said:
Virgin Atlantic (A340-600)=Ours is longer.
Edited by Poseidon, 04 January 2009 - 02:52 PM.
#79
rabbitweasel
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Posted 04 January 2009 - 09:10 PM
A well known one already but I still find it interesting.
Any aircraft rated as ETOPS certified. Essentially it stands for "engines turn or passengers swim" due to the routes such aircraft will fly.
Any aircraft rated as ETOPS certified. Essentially it stands for "engines turn or passengers swim" due to the routes such aircraft will fly.
#80
Prancer
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Posted 04 January 2009 - 10:19 PM
KLM-Figure out what the froosh the KLM stands for and you win a cookie. Spell it right and you'll get a free flight with complimentary cookies. Pronounce it right and we'll just give you a stinkin' 747 full of cookies. Eat the whole plane's worth of cookies in two hours without puking and we'll throw in a pilot to be your slave, even if you do weigh more then the 747. Be proud.
